What is success?

Wow, so here I sit in my office... the same one as before I climbed Kilimanjaro, at the same desk in front of the same computer. Rode the same scooter to work, from the same house and got out of the same bed. And so I find myself wondering - people said that climbing Kilimanjaro is a life changing experience, but what has changed...

I reached the top of the mountain on the morning of the 19 September 2013, exhausted, not really completely "with it" and there was no great sense of elation, more of relief that we could get back down again to more oxygen. So yes in terms of that it was a success and with hindsight knowing that I reached the top, in spite of the extreme feeling of tiredness, is one of the greatest achievements of my life.

I can only answer by saying that nothing, and everything has changed. My day to day life may continue, but climbing Kilimanjaro helped me to reconnect with myself and with the people in my group. It was a challenge that we faced together and knowing that you can push yourself and succeed is amazing. Climbing Kilimanajro takes your mind to many places, some dark and some filled with brightness. On that mountain I began to believe that loving again was possible, that to live freely and fully does not mean living alone... I learned that success is as much as what you believe as what you do...that thoughts in themselves can be as powerful as actions... and that trying to put a glove on at 5865m above sea level is really quite impossible!!

My fund raising will continue, that mountain I am still busy climbing.
Thank you for reading and I will try and write more..

Lazy

Ok ok, so my blogging skills suck!!! What can I say, lazy in one aspect of my life I guess.

SO...its 22 days until I leave for Kilimanjaro and still over R 20 000 to raise !GULP! Thanks so much to all of you that have donated - to the rest, that's it - friendship is over :-)

I "celebrated" the psychological hurdle of the one year mark since those words "I want a divorce" totally changed my life's direction earlier this month, which also coincided with one month to go until I start actually climbing the mountain - interesting how life works.

I have been doing a bit of training, most recently at the gravity adventure festival in Kleinmond. Shucks, not sure how we survived that!! My good friend Margie and I started off with a puddle invested trail run, up to just above my knees in water at some points. Not been satisfied with just one pair of soaked shoes, we then did an adventure race. I honestly have no idea how far we went, but we ran through those same trails/rivers, then got on our mountain bikes and headed out - seriously we went UP the mountain. It was wet, windy and cold and we spent more time pushing the bicycles than riding them. Coming back down was a blast (literally and figuratively) with the rain feeling like little needles stinging our faces. The fun didn't stop yet, we then hiked back up the other side of the mountain as we looked for a silly wooden bridge to mark off our checkpoint. Down the mountain... and wait for it...we then jumped into the fast running lagoon for some tubing. By this point my lips were blue, I was shivering uncontrollably and I am surprised that I didn't crack a tooth with all the chattering! Then was back on our bicycles for the last 3 km back to base. Almost 6 hours after we left we were back were I think the coffee bought by Lols was more shaken than sipped but it helped!! SO COLD. Kilimanjaro is going to feel like a walk in the park - I HOPE!!

The fun for the weekend wasn't over yet. My friends did a tag team manoeuvre,  with Margie tapping out as Teresa tapped in. T and I met some new friends and partied in the tent...then tried hard to keep warm and comfortable on our slowly deflating mattress. We awoke to more rain, and then bravely set out on a 36 km very tough mountain bike ride which took us over 3 hours. Luckily the rain stopped, but the depth of the puddles ensured that I was walking around barefoot for the rest of the day as had run out of dry shoes.

Oh, and all that was after both T and I had been sick the week before. We might not have done the Ironman, but we felt like Ironwoman I tell you!! I have a few more hikes,swims, runs and mountain bike sessions planned so lets hope I will be ready for Kilimanjaro.

Its amazing how far we can come by just taking one day at a time, putting one foot in the other, trusting in ourselves and hoping that our friends and family will support us. We just have to keep that goal in sight and do whatever it takes - be it beating TB, surviving a break up or climbing a mountain - to get there. We may fail to reach our destination, but as long as we try we are not failures!!

Nelson Mandela International Day

MANDELA DAY

The overarching objective of Mandela Day is to inspire individuals to take action to help change the world for the better, and in doing so build a global movement for good. Ultimately it seeks to empower communities everywhere. “Take Action; Inspire Change; Make Every Day a Mandela Day.”

http://www.mandeladay.com/

Nelson Mandela International Day is on 18 July. The main concept is to do something linked to 67 as this is the number of years that he dedicated to service for South Africa and the world.

While I hope that everyone will still do something for 67 minutes, I also request that you consider making a donation of R67 via www.tbhivcare.org. Click on donate and chose the cause kileighmanjaro.vs.TB

We all know that Madiba had Tuberculosis, and that he is currently hospitalized for a lung infection - doesn't it make sense to help celebrate Madibas birthday by directly helping people in Brooklyn Chest Hospital that are hospitalized with Tuberculosis?

Please help these patients be able to spend valuable time with their loved ones.

The Wall

So, about 3 weeks ago it felt like I had hit that proverbial wall. The Wall is usually something spoken about by marathon runners and other long distance athletes. Its that moment when you go from cruising along to suddenly feeling like you have run head first into a concrete barrier. The Wall can be physical, and it can also be psychological. In South Africa many of us have six foot high walls around our property, designed to keep our loved ones in and "baddies" out. Walls are not always bad, they can help to designate boundaries, to protect and to create privacy. However, like most things, when something is no longer effective, and no longer helping you to achieve goals then maybe its time to consider a change.
My wall that I hit was partly physical, mostly psychological. I just ran out of oomph. I didn't feel like updating my blog, going for a run seemed as hard as going to Mars, in fact just getting out of bed every morning took an enormous amount of effort. If it wasn't for the laughter of my house mates precious daughter echoing down the passage my afternoon naps may have carried on for the whole weekend. And lets face it, the giggles of an eight year old (sorry almost nine) are infectious.

Anyway, back to my wall... I was tired, demotivated, kept getting headaches and was just feeling uninspired. The wall that I had hit was protecting me from being hurt in that I was isolating myself from others, it was giving me safety and peace and privacy, but was also resulting in a feeling of emptiness. It was time to get that hammer out and knock down some bricks...

So I did, I got back out there, meeting new people and participating in the activities of the world. I was in the newspaper last week, and it is amazing how many of the patients are cheering me on. Life is what it is, and it is filled with hope and love if we are prepared to let down our guards (within reason!!)

I see it in my patients here too, how they also "hit the wall". After taking treatment for several months, putting up with vomiting, painful injections, hospital food (which I must say does look and smell really good, but can never taste like what is made with love at home), separation from family...they sometimes too just feel that they can't keep going. Getting out of bed becomes difficult, every day just becomes the same as the other and finding a reason to keep fighting is not always easy. They build psychological wall of dissatisfaction and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and often try overcome these feelings by moving away from the physical walls of the hospital. They run away, or abscond completely, or give up and stop taking their treatment, or just escape in a bottle of beer...

There is no simple solution, I am sure I will hit a completely different "wall" on Kilimanjaro. For now I am going to focus on doing the best that I can everyday. I firmly believe that with sufficient funding, and with the patients realizing that they are not forgotten and that people out there do care, that we can empower our patients with skills that will lead to a greater sense of purpose, and ensure that families are able to visit each other to offer support.

Please help me to help them by donating at www.tbhivcare.org and choose the cause Kileighmanjaro.vs.TB

Thanks

Countdown

How exciting I am into double digits of days to go until I fly to Kilimanjaro thanks to www.souladventures.co.za99 days to go! Which means that I need to raise R500 per day to reach my target. To those of you that have already donated thank you very much - to the rest of you... What are you waiting for? It's easy just go to www.tbhivcare.org and click on the red donate block and chose kileighmanjaro vs tb. Easy as that.

Since I started my kileighmanjaro journey I have managed to achieve quite a lot. I have done 2 trail run competitions (one 10km in the pouring rain wearing my hiking boots), a mountain bike race, a sprint triathlon and my first half marathon. I have been in the newspaper, been interviewed for two publications and been on the radio twice. So I am doing my training and marketing, and while donations have been slow, I hope that I am achieving my goal of improving awareness about tuberculosis and encouraging adherence to medication.

So now I ask you to please try to help the patients at Brooklyn Chest Hospital. Every bit helps and just R50 will help a patient to get a visit from a family member. It will also help with essential life skills and work skills to be used after discharge from hospital.

Thank you and please encourage friends and family to view this blog and to like my kileighmanjaro vs tb Facebook page.

Life and death

Synchronicity is a strange concept. Similar things that happen at the same time that make you sit up and take notice. My Dad was diagnosed with prostrate cancer which was a huge shock. My Dad is kinda like a superman he drinks but never gets drunk, gets angry but seldom looses his temper, can see through things that others can't, and well is pretty indestructible in my books. So yes the concept of cancer was not easy to grasp, and one of the greatest people I know, Dave Jeffrey lost his life to cancer. Fortunately my Dads seems to be slow growing so all is good for now. Within the same two weeks a good friend told me that she believes she may not have long to go.... Then today a patient asked me if she was dying. I have been asked this before... And I can't help but wonder, at what point do we start dying and stop living?

Wow such deep questions! But I guess what it comes down to is for every day we are alive, we are getting closer to our demise. I did my first half marathon last Sunday, and from about the 3km mark people were clapping and saying "nearly there"! I laughingly pointed this out to a fellow runner, and she responded by saying "well we are closer to the finish than when we started ". So the point I suppose is just to keep trying everyday to do what we can to live well and die content. For me that means not having regrets, for others it may mean something different.

Climbing Kilimanjaro to raise awareness about tuberculosis and to raise funds for the patients at Brooklyn Chest Hospital is something important to me. I have a wonderful and supportive family. In spite of what my Mom is going through, she is still trying to help me raise money and her latest mission is to get onto the local radio station (ECR). I know how important the support of my family and friends is to me, which is why I want to enable patients and their families to be together whether they are living or dying. Please help me achieve this by making a donation through www.tbhivcare.org. And like my Facebook page kileighmanjaro.vs.tb.

I sign off with the advise my Dad gave us every morning "work hard and play hard. Think before you do" Words to live by

Is Tb a problem?

Since starting my Kilimanjaro quest, people have sometimes asked me “is TB really such a big problem?” Well, according to the WHO, approximately 8.7 million people became ill with TB in 2011, 1.4 million people died and 10 million children were left orphaned after their parents succumbed to this disease worldwide. It is estimated that in the 22 high burden countries there are 10 million people living with active TB. Sub – Saharan Africa has the highest proportion of new cases per population in the world. In 2011 it was estimated by City Health that there were nearly 30 000 people in the City’s metro suffering from TB. 

This is a frightening situation. Most people with a reasonable immune system would be able to fight off this infection, but wants it starts to grow and symptoms manifest then treatment is required. 

Today is one of those days when I just feel so powerless in the face of this disease and it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. This happens to us all - yes even to psychologists:-) I know that tomorrow, or the next day this feeling will pass. It helps to know that I am going to leave work today, go and have a great horse riding lesson, and can then choose what I do with my evening. I sometimes feel guilty feeling down when I know that I have so much and yet the patients here have so little. We all have our burdens to carry, and most of us in essence just want to feel that we are loved, that our lives are important and that we are worthy. My patients and I share that struggle- within us we are not that different after all.

The core difference is in our external circumstances - I can go home!!

I am asking for individuals to make a donation to the cause at www.tbhivcare.org. When you consider that our patients are unable to work while in hospital, and while they qualify for a disability grant of just over R1000 per month, the transport cost of R50 for one family member to visit is often a luxury that they cannot afford. Screening for distribution of travel grants will be done by our social workers – but we need your help in the form of a donation. Every bit helps

If you have any further questions, comments or concerns please email me at leigh.rynhoud@gmail.com